Teenagers
Adolescence is a time signified by the development of self-identify. During this time, adolescents tend to experience more moodiness, express less affection toward their caregivers and focus on their peer relationships. This time is also characterized by having more freedoms, later curfews, perhaps even getting their first job, and learning how to drive. Moral and logical development also increases as teenagers are able to provide a reason for their choices and identify if their actions were “right or wrong.” As their world is expanding and peers are at the forefront of their focus, romantic relationships also become a major focus as many teenagers will engage in sexual relationships as well.
Sexual Development During Adolescence
Teenagers are impulsively driven, which means they act first and think after the fact, which can place our teenagers in risky situations and even face serious consequences. This line of acting first and thinking after the fact is a result of the teenage brain not having a fully developed frontal lobe, which develops around age 25 and gives adults the ability to think before we act. Common risky behaviors adolescents engage in may include drinking, substance use, truancy, fighting, dangerous driving and engaging in unprotected sexual activity.
There is a drastic increase between ages 15 to 25 of individuals who have had sexual intercourse. At age 15, only 22% of people ages 15-25 have engaged in sexual intercourse, however this rate increases to 56% at age 18 and 93% by age 25. As more teenagers engage in sexual intercourse, the possibility of teenage pregnancy also increases. In 2019, the rate of teenage pregnancy was 16.7%. Teenage pregnancy, not only affects an adolescent physically, but there are also long term social and economic effects as pregnancy and childbearing is a significant contributor to high school dropout rates. In fact, only 53% of teen mothers complete a high school diploma by the age of 22, whereas who do not give birth during high school have a 90% high school graduation rate.
Even more alarming is the current increase in sexually transmitted infections among adolescents and young adults. According to the Center for Disease Control, adolescents and young adults (ages 15-24) account for 13% of the total US population, but yet account for 22% of syphilis cases , 42% of gonorrhea cases , and 62% of chlamydia cases.
Thus, between an adolescents incline to naturally be impulsive coupled with the high possibility to engage in risky behavior, the potential for pregnancy, and the alarming rates of sexually transmitted infections among our teenagers, it is vital for caregivers to talk to their teenagers about their sexual health.
Sexual Health
Sexual health is the state of physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being in relation to sexuality. Developing and maintaining a healthy sexuality requires the sexual rights of all persons to be respected, protected, and fulfilled.
Sexual Intercourse
Sexual Intercourse makes up one component of sexual health. Tips for talking to your teenager about sexual intercourse include:
• Provide basic information on how a woman becomes pregnant.
• Share information about all the different birth control methods of birth control and discuss level of risk associated with each option :
o Extremely Effective: IUDs, Tubal Ligation and Vasectomy
Rick of becoming pregnant less than 1%
o Effective: Birth Control Pills, Ring, Patch, Injection
Rick of becoming pregnant: 6-9%
o Not As Effective: Condoms, Diaphragm, Withdrawal Method, and Family Awareness Method (FAM)
Risk of becoming pregnant: 12-24%
Note: This risk is highly associated with user error and method failure.
• Share information about Emergency Contraception options including: Copper IUD, Ullipristal, Levonogestrel and Yuzpe Regimen.
Safe Sex Practices
If your teenager is or thinking about becoming sexually active, having a discussion and planning around the following topics helps to increase their safety and empower them to engage in safe sexual practices and relationships:
• Always have a conversation with their partner and obtaining consent before engaging in any sexual activity.
• Use a form of birth control.
• Condoms prevent STIs and as a backup form of birth control.
• Talk to your teenager about Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and HIV.
• Discuss the need and process of getting tested and treated for STIs and HIV.
• Help your teenager plan a conversation with their partner about their past sexual relationships and their history of STI testing and treatment.
• Discuss the need to limit the number of sexual partners to reduce the chances of getting an STI.
• Identify the risks of being under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol and how this impacts their judgement and ability to make good decisions.
Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)
The increasing rates of sexually transmitted infections among adolescents and young adults is concerning. Talking to your child about sexually transmitted infections not only provides them with preventative care as an adolescent, but also teaches them safe practices and how to make healthy choices now and as they continue to get older.
Some helpful information to share with your teenager about STIs may include:
• Sexually transmitted infections are passed on by sexual contact, which includes vaginal, anal and/or oral sex. Intimate skin-to-skin contact without penetration can also put you are risk for getting an STI.
• Treatments are available to cure most STIs. However, HIV, genital herpes and HPV cannot be cured.
• You can lower the risk of getting an STI by practicing safe sex.
• STIs are lowered by using a condom every time you have sex.
• Getting tested regularly is an important way to protect your health and your partner’s health.
• STIs can impact a female’s ability to become pregnant in the future.
• Pregnant women can spread the infection to their babies before or during delivery.
• It’s everyone’s right and their responsibility to protect themselves.
• Provide information about the different types of STIs, including Chlamydia, Genital Herpes, Genital Warts or Genital Human Papillomavirus (HPV), Gonorrhea, Hepatitis B, Syphilis, Trichomonisis, and HIV/AIDS.
Healthy Relationships
Teenagers need to have a clear understanding of healthy and unhealthy relationships. Characteristics of healthy teenage relationships include negation and fairness, non-threatening behavior, respect, trust and support, honesty and accountability, self-confidence and personal growth, shared power, and communication. In comparison, teenagers in unhealthy relationships may engage in or be exposed to anger/emotional abuse, peer pressure, use social status, intimidation, minimize/deny/blame, threats, sexual coercion, and/or isolation/exclusion. A major part of helping your teenager identify clear boundaries around healthy and unhealthy sexual and relational behavior includes talking to your teenager about sexual consent.
Sexual Consent
Teaching teenagers the skills of consent and communication are the building blocks of healthy relationships and can help reduce sexual coercion, harassment, and assault. By teaching our teenagers about consent, we are helping them learn to express their limits, develop the tools to advocate for themselves, express their needs, and how to respect other’s limits as well.
Discussions around sexual consent can include the following:
• Consent is given freely and voluntary. Feeling forced or bullied to engage in any sexual activity is not consent. Both body language and verbal language should both give the same positive message of consent.
• ‘No’ always means ‘No.’
• Consent must be given every single time for every sexual activity.
• Consent can always be withdrawn at any time.
• Each partner needs to feel safe and comfortable.
• Just because you are in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean they automatically give consent to sexual activity, even if it was given before.
• Consent is not implied or assumed. Consent does not come from flirting, not based on clothing, engaging in sexual texts or social media communication.
• If communication is not clear or is confusing, it isn’t consent.
• Consent can’t be given if someone is under the influence of a substance, sleeping or unconscious. Clear communication about consent requires that each partner is sober and alert.
Some helpful tips for talking about sexual consent and empowering your teenager include :
• Talk about your family, religious and/or cultural values about sexual intercourse and sexuality.
• Define what personal boundaries are and help your teenager identify situations that your teenager might have to be clear about personal boundaries. It may be helpful to even roleplay these situations where they need to set clear boundaries.
• Provide clear definitions of sexual consent, coercion, pressure, harassment, manipulation and sexual assault. Remind your child that you will always listen and be there to support them through any risky situations they are going through.
• Identify risky situations with your teenager and create a plan on what your child can do if these situations arise.
• Discuss the legal, social and emotional consequences of sexual assault.
• Identify the risks of sexting and how to stay safe online.
CDC (2021) Child Development: Adolescence. Retrieved from:
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/adolescence.html
Raising Children Network Australia (2022). Risky behavior in pre-teens and teenagers. Retrieved from: https://raisingchildren.net.au/teens/behaviour/behaviour-questions-issues/risky-behaviour
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CDC, Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance 2018, Table 34: Primary and secondary syphilis—reported cases and rates of reported cases by group and sex, United States, 2014–2018, Atlanta: HHS, 2019, https://www.cdc.gov/std/stats18/STDSurveillance2018-full-report.pdf
CDC, Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance 2018, Table 21: Gonorrhea—reported cases and rates of reported cases by age group and sex, United States, 2014–2018, Atlanta: HHS, 2019, https://www.cdc.gov/std/stats18/STDSurveillance2018-full-report.pdf
CDC, Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance 2018, Table 10: Chlamydia—reported cases and rates of reported cases by age group and sex, United States, 2014–2018, Atlanta: HHS, 2019, https://www.cdc.gov/std/stats18/STDSurveillance2018-full-report.pdf
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Options for Sexual Health (2022). How well does birth control work? Retrieved from: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/birth-control/
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Teaching Sexual Health (n.d.) Consent. Retrieved from: https://teachingsexualhealth.ca/parents/information-by-topic/understanding-consent/
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of Population Affairs, Adolescent Development Explained. Washington, D.C: U.S. Government Printing Office, November 2018. Retrieved from: https://opa.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/2021-03/adolescent-development-explained-download.pdf